Pay attention god damn it

Cell phones, mp3 players, portable gaming systems, and PDA’s are going to destroy the social fabric of the modern world. It seems like everyone I’ve ever seen on campus is holding a phone to their face, oblivious to everything around them. At least they aren’t driving. If it’s not someone that can’t bear to be alone with their own thoughts, then it’s someone trying to drown them out with noise. They walk to the beat, bobbing their head with their hands in the pockets of their baggy jeans, showing off their iPod. They’re so hip! The only thing that could make them hipper would be driving a new beetle.
The good thing about these people is they’re easy to rob. They can’t hear you coming and you can be pretty sure they have money with that sort of fancy hardware. Even if they don’t, you can hock the player. These guys are begging to get jumped. It wouldn’t bother me much except that it makes the person totally inaccessible. Random conversation is impossible. And all those pretty girls on cell phones will be deprived of my company because they can’t hear me when I offer to perform oral sex on them, free of charge.