Dolphins: Gangsters of the Sea
Dolphins are generally looked upon as friendly and peaceful creatures. They’re so chipper and gentle looking. For this reason they get a lot of positive press, flipper was hero to millions of children. I’m sure we have all heard the stories about a man that fell off a pier or a boat or some such shit, and while flailing in the water he was assailed by sharks. The story goes that a posse of noble dolphins came to his aid and warded off the mean, ugly, uncuddly sharks; thus saving the mans life. After the rescue the kindly dolphins jumped through hoops and let the man ride on their back while he waved a cowboy hat in the air, which delighted onlookers young and old. But is this an accurate portrayal of the sea born mammals? Or is there a more sinister truth regarding those chirping cocksuckers? I did a little research and discovered that dolphins have been killing porpoises. For those of you that didn’t know, a porpoise is like a small dolphin as you can see below.
They didn’t do it for food, if they had, dead porpoises wouldn’t be washing up all over the shore. They did it for the joy of killing; imagine the dolphin as they hurl the porpoise back and forth like a bloody broken beach ball. Visualize them tearing into its flesh with their teeth on every toss, keeping it alive only to watch it suffer, basking in the beautiful glow of its agony. Move over Jeffery Dahmer, there’s a new kid on the block and his name is flipper. The sadistic behavior doesn’t stop there. They kill baby dolphins too! But this time it’s not just fun and games, it’s so they can knock up the mother. It turns out that when a female dolphin loses an infant she becomes fertile. Yep, we all know nothing gets those juices flowing quite like infanticide. You may be thinking, “The cute cheerful dolphins could never do that, you’re just a cynical fucking jerk that likes to shit on other people’s parade, Mike!” Don’t take my word for it. Take a look at this link.
And I’m not cynical at all! I am a very cheerful and positive person that likes to shit on other people’s parade. ;)
They didn’t do it for food, if they had, dead porpoises wouldn’t be washing up all over the shore. They did it for the joy of killing; imagine the dolphin as they hurl the porpoise back and forth like a bloody broken beach ball. Visualize them tearing into its flesh with their teeth on every toss, keeping it alive only to watch it suffer, basking in the beautiful glow of its agony. Move over Jeffery Dahmer, there’s a new kid on the block and his name is flipper. The sadistic behavior doesn’t stop there. They kill baby dolphins too! But this time it’s not just fun and games, it’s so they can knock up the mother. It turns out that when a female dolphin loses an infant she becomes fertile. Yep, we all know nothing gets those juices flowing quite like infanticide. You may be thinking, “The cute cheerful dolphins could never do that, you’re just a cynical fucking jerk that likes to shit on other people’s parade, Mike!” Don’t take my word for it. Take a look at this link.
And I’m not cynical at all! I am a very cheerful and positive person that likes to shit on other people’s parade. ;)
posted by Bu Chou at 4:10 AM
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