Dog food?

Any college student in Lubbock will have a Pavlovian reaction if I say “the strip” Immediately their heart rate will rise, breathing becomes heavy, salivation ensues, and the body prepares to experience a hedonists Valhalla. This is because “the strip” is where all Lubbockites must go in order to get one of the few things that can provide momentary relief from how much this town sucks; alcohol. Lubbock is a dry city and no alcohol can be found in convenience or grocery stores. Only bars can sell alcohol legally within the city limits. This law exists to reduce the amount of drunk drivers on the road. So if you want to get fucked up in Lubbock you had better drive your ass up to a bar, get drunk there, and drive home using a the curb as your guide i.e.(bumper bowling), because you can’t buy the booze and take it home. Anyway a friend and I paid homage to the strip one fine Friday afternoon and after acquiring some beer we headed back. One of the more endearing aspects of the strip has got to be the beggars that hangout at the overpass and stand at the stoplight expecting a handout. I saw one of these smelly bastards standing next to a hideously unclean dog. His sign said “Need food for me and my dog” Good thinking! Maybe someone will have pity on that dirty bag of shit you call a dog and they will toss a few bucks your way. I couldn’t help but think of a solution to this mans dilemma. I thought, “Eat your dog, then neither one of you will be hungry!” Then I immediately remembered that food was not the issue and that all those bums beg so close to booze stores so there’s less commute when they finally do get some sucker to hand them money. But I can’t really blame them. If my life sucked as much as theirs I would stay drunk all the time too.