Life Insurance Commercials

Getting old must be really depressing. I think one of the main reasons I get out of bed in the morning and shave without so much as thinking of slashing my wrists is that I look forward to the day, and the future in general. Being young allows me the freedom to dream the most absurdly optimistic dreams. I've got plenty of time to realize any of the dreams I come up with. Sure, there isn't much chance I'll ever become a famous athlete or musician but I really don't want that. I have no talent for music and I'm not really athletic inclined, at least not enough to make a living with it. But I can still dream of being a rich playboy that travels the globe in search of adventure and excitement. Time is on my side. If I were old I wouldn't be able to dream at all. I would have to think how much life I had left. This sort of thing sounds pretty depressing to me. The fact that no one would want to have sex with my wrinkled crochity old body, my dulling wits, and my friends and family dying wouldn't help my mood I'm sure. Life insurance commercials wouldn't provide any relief. Take a look at this excerpt from an ad.

"You worthless piece of shit! Your family shouldn't have to worry about you dying. Think of all the money they'll waste on you. Medical bills, funeral bills, and credit card debts will all be a burden to your family when you die. A burden, just like you! You're not worth the dirt you'll be buried with. The only possible redemptive act you can do is buy our life insurance policy. If you don't be assured your friends and loved ones will piss on your grave out of anger about all the money you took to hell with you."

Hideous. Unconscionable. It just isn't right to capitalize on old peoples feeling of worthlessness. Let's all hope that scientists find a way to regenerate our telomeres before we get old.