Big Truck = Small Dick

Anyone that comes to Texas from some other part of the country or the world will notice a prolific amount of trucks. I suppose its part of the culture. Lots of these guys consider themselves cowboys. I laugh at them. If you probe these stupid hicks you’ll find that most of them have never set foot on a ranch or even come in contact with livestock in a non-romantic fashion. There is a genuine use for trucks. Any time I move to a new residence I try to find a friend with a truck to help me out. So I guess I can’t really complain when a perfectly normal person owns a reasonably sized truck, especially if they use it for its intended purpose very often. This brings me to the behemoths that serve no practical purpose beyond being a psuedophallice. You have probably seen them around. Like this jerks truck.
They have lifted suspensions that give them a height advantage on a two story building and they have gigantic metal protrusions on the front end to deflect cattle, pedestrians, and other vehicles. If you see one of these monstrosities and it’s clean, you can bet the driver has a very small dick. When the driver realized his dick was so small he was very disappointed because this was in contrast to his desire to be an obnoxious, destructive, and arrogant bastard. Guys with tiny dicks really can’t pull this off. Girls won’t put up with an obnoxious guy unless he is either rich or genitally blessed. This lack of female companionship destroys his ego so he can no longer be arrogant. As for destructive, well, you can’t do much damage with a little pecker like that, can you. So our driver sees a two story tall truck and thinks, “This thing is obnoxious, destructive, arrogant, and most importantly BIG!” So he buys the truck to fill the void in his soul that his cock just couldn’t fill. This undoubtedly makes the driver a total douche bag. “But why should you care!” you may be thinking. I care because that gas guzzling piece of shit is increasing the demand for oil. And we all know increased demand causes increased prices. So every time I fill up my reasonably sized sedan I am paying more because some fucking jerk is insecure about his pitiful tool. Now don’t misunderstand, guys with small dongs are not my target. Hell, if they're small it just means their ex-girlfriend will be that much more impressed with me. My real problem is with giant trucks that drive up gas prices and take up road space. I am just saying they wouldn’t be so popular if it weren’t for little wieners.