Get up!

I was at wal-mart today and realized peoples lives are a reflection of their standards. I saw morbidly obese people riding around on those electric scooters provided by wal-mart for the disabled or extremely lazy. I have yet to see a truly disabled person use these things, however.

I really wonder how a person reaches that level of enormity and says to themselves, “I need more food, but rather than walk around to get the food and postpone my own heart failure through some very modest activity, I think I would prefer to plop my big ass down on an electric cart, scoot around at a snail’s pace, and take up about twice as much aisle real estate as when I am standing up.” This really pisses me off for a couple reasons. First, I hate being blocked by these people when I am trying to move through the building. Second, it is insults to people that aren’t able to walk when some person that has the ability to do so, doesn’t because of laziness.




I thought nature was supposed to take care of this sort of thing with the process of natural selection. Civilization really has made survival just too fucking easy. I am reminded of a quote by Emerson, who said, “The end of the human race will be that it will eventually die of civilization.”

Being an engineer I thought of a technical solution for the problem. Just make the entrances no wider than 3 ft across. This would prevent anyone wider that 3 ft from entering the building and obtaining more food. The problem becomes self correcting. Too fat to get in = no food = losing weight and width = narrower ass = ability to enter and get more food => goto loop. The algorithm is flawless. A problem was presented by a friend of mine. These people can just order food and have it delivered. So I thought, make the keys too small to press individually with fat fingers. I was reminded of the dialing wand ala The Simpson’s. Oh well, fuck it!

But I can’t be too hard on nature. After all, it’s not like these people are breeding, either because no one wants to fuck them, or because their genitals are being buried beneath gluttonous folds. Also, if they are too lazy to walk I think it’s a safe bet that they’re too lazy to fuck. People with a broken mentality have no place in the gene pool.

I am a monster 